Funny shirts for MTG players

Unofficial parody fan merchandise

If you play Magic: The Gathering, you already know the jokes. You've said "any responses?" and hoped nobody had one. You've kept a one-land hand and blamed the shuffler. These shirts put those moments in big, readable type, so the people at your table get the joke from across the room.

Every design is our own: original puns set in our own type with simple shapes we drew. No card art, no card frames and no game logos, just the jokes. Pick a design, then put it on a soft tee, a heavyweight Comfort Colors tee, a long sleeve or a hoodie, in the color and size you want.

Table talk

For the player who narrates every turn.

• Respond? In this economy?
• Any responses? (Please say no.)
• I'm not arguing. I'm explaining the stack.
• I counted twice. It's lethal.

Keyword puns

Rules words, taken a little too literally.

• Deathtouch. One is plenty.
• Actually, it does have haste.
• Shroud: "Wow, I can't even target myself?"
• Not ignoring you, phased out and role playing.

Color pie jokes

Pick the color that describes you, or the friend who always plays it.

• Red: I don't need a plan. I need you at 3 life.
• Blue: I'll think about it on your turn.
• Green: my plan is a bigger creature.
• Black: pay 2 life? I'll pay 20.
• White: the rules protect everyone. Mostly me.

Prices: value tee $18, soft tee $27, long sleeve $28, Comfort Colors tee $30, hoodie $45, mug $19. Made to order in the US.

See all designs

Questions

What shirts can I get these on?

A Bella+Canvas soft tee ($27), a Comfort Colors heavyweight tee ($30), a long sleeve ($28), a value tee ($18) or a Gildan hoodie ($45). Most designs also come on mugs, stickers and magnets.

Is this official Magic: The Gathering merchandise?

No. Everything here is unofficial parody fan merchandise for Magic: The Gathering players, written and drawn by an independent shop. It isn't affiliated with, endorsed or sponsored by Wizards of the Coast.

How long does an order take?

Each item is printed after you order it, usually in 2 to 5 business days, then shipped. Most orders arrive within about 1 to 2 weeks. US shipping is free on orders of $45 or more, otherwise $4.99.