I'll read the card after it hits you.
An original Magic: The Gathering pun, Keywords
Get it on
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Put it on something
Deathtouch. One is plenty.
Shroud: "Wow, I can't even target myself?"
Trample and double strike: Nobody knows how it works, but it's provocative, and it sounds cool.
Not ignoring you, phased out and role playing.
Actually, it does have haste.